Mercury in retrograde (aka, WTF?)

Lance told me today that Mercury is in retrograde.

He’s said this before and he knows it is true because he reads his monthly horoscope like a recipe, memorizing the ingredients and the mixing instructions.

When he reads parts of my horoscope to me, I say stuff like, “I don’t believe you!" and "Wrong!” and “Wait, what? No, nevermind, I don't wanna know!”  

But, things have been feeling weird lately.

So, I Googled it.

Here’s a little astrology appetizer (yum!):

“Astrology is a tool that can make you aware of patterns, like those that come during a Mercury retrograde. Just observe and see what happens, and be open to the past returning for review. If it’s coming back, there’s likely something more to learn or release from it. You don’t have to retreat to the zen monastery, but a little solitude and quiet reflection never hurt anybody.”